Every child is different. But something that is common with most children is them not wanting to listen to their parents. Sometimes kids can be really stubborn and unaccepting of their parents’ advice, even if it’s for their own good.
Parents get frustrated when their kids don’t listen and often start yelling. But that isn’t the right way to go about it. There is no positive outcome of yelling. It makes kids even more stubborn, and they do the things they shouldn’t do even more.
There might be some helpful instructions on how to get kids to listen without yelling. Everyone should try solving the problem with patience and without frustration.
Solve the Bigger Problem
Parents want to solve their kids’ problems without fully knowing what they are. Kids nowadays share very little of what’s happening in their life, and what parents usually see is only superficial. The little details don’t matter as much as the bigger problem.
Everyone knows kids go through a phase where they don’t listen to anyone and are constantly irritated by what you say. Often this phase results in conflict. But, because parents went through this phase once themselves, they should be understanding and try not to pressure their children.
Sometimes kids get so much into what they’re doing that they tune their parents out. Other times a lot more is going on than what is visible to the eye. After understanding the problem, the next step is connecting and getting involved in your child’s life.
Connect Before You Point Out
Don’t start by requesting your kid to come to your room and share everything. That won’t happen. Instead, it would be best to choose a time when you disconnect everything else from your daily life, and your main focus is them.
Start by complimenting them and looking invested in what they are doing. Everything they do, they’re doing it for a reason. After that, ask politely about the topic you want to discuss, and listen to what they have to say. Acknowledge their opinion and then tell them your own, but don’t force it on them.
Inconvenient, time-consuming, annoying? Yes, it is. Working out is too, but we do it either way because we want the results. After you’ve connected, you can make your request calmly, without yelling.
And never make your kids feel bad for something they didn’t do. It’s a cheap ploy that will only make them dislike you in the long run. Make it apparent that you like spending time with them, but don’t punish them if things don’t work out immediately. It can take a few tries, but they will eventually give you a chance.
Give Choices
Kids may want all the control and freedom they can have. They are seeking independence all the time. It’s genuinely a good thing to let them make their own decisions. In the future, they will likely be more cooperative this way.
When you want to request something, always give them a choice. For example, ask them to clean up their room or the garden. This way, they have more freedom. In cases like these, they will always do at least something, which is a great start.
We were all children once, and we know that we did things when we wanted to do them. For example, cleaning isn’t a problem because everyone can do it. But it starts feeling annoying when someone tells us that we must do it right away. Maybe we want to clean the garden and not the kitchen at the moment.
That’s when the freedom of choice comes in.
Be Patient
Even after doing all these steps, your kids might still ignore you. Most parents start yelling at this point, which is a mistake. It would help if you didn’t repeat yourself a hundred times like a broken record, and instead figured out how to get kids to listen without yelling.
You start to bore them by repeating yourself, and your children ignore you even more. If they didn’t do what you requested in the first place, start all over again. Make sure that you’ve connected for that day. If you haven’t, try to connect again.
It would be best to focus more on the connection than on your request. Because requesting something isn’t a one-day thing. We have new requests every day. And they can get annoying if they are asked for with yelling and impatience.
Cleaning the kitchen, the garden, or the bedroom, are tasks we do every day. But once you’ve lost connection with your children, they may never listen to you and never share anything. And believe it, regaining that connection is more challenging than cleaning the kitchen.
Figure Out the Reasons Why You Yell
If you find yourself yelling all the time, try to figure out why you do that. If anger is why you’re yelling, try out new things to calm you down. A great thing to start doing is meditating. It may help you get all your anger out and gain all the peace you need.
Often it would be best if you had time out from everything and time to focus on yourself. Try to gather your thoughts. Try to discipline your child after you think you have the right mindset and the calmness you need.
If you’re yelling because of extreme irritation or annoyance, try to find the best way of addressing your child’s misbehavior. Parents often yell empty threats that will never happen because they don’t know what else to say, making the problem even more significant.
Conclusion
Every parent may have some kind of problem with their children. Everyone was once a child. We all know that it’s a phase, and everyone will grow out of it. From your personal experience or plain logic, you should know that yelling is never the answer.
There are many ways to connect with your children with patience and calmness. Parents only push their kids away even more by yelling. You should be understanding and accept your child’s opinion. Eventually, every child will listen. We hope this article on how to get kids to listen without yelling was helpful and gave you enough ideas on how to approach your child calmly.
